Things I say at work. Again, and again, and again.

1. in response to "Joan. Joan. Joan. Joan": "Yes my friend." "You have to be patient, I'm speaking to someone" "If you have something to say, please raise your hand"
2. When crossing the street: "Double hands please" "_____ and ______, I need your hands for crossing the street."
3. After crossing the street: "Okay guys, you can hold your friends' hands again."
4. At lunch: "Destiny/Maya/Lola B, eat your lunch" "Can I see a big dinosaur bite?" usually followed by 5 or 6 other kids saying "Joan, Joan, look at my dinosaur bite!!"
5. Once the first kid has laid down for nap: "Guys, nap time has started so we need to be quiet and concentrate on finishing our lunches." usually followed by, "Joan, nap time has started." to which I respond, "Yes, ______, I just told you that."
6. Usually at circle time or art, "If I am talking, should you be talking?"
7. Also at circle time: "Put on your thinking caps, close your eyes, and raise your hand if you know the answer to my question" (Everyone raises their hand immediately, before hearing the question.)
8. "What month are we in?"
possible answers: "September" "Tuesday"....
9. "What's the weather today?"
-"It's raining meatballs!"
10. In the bathroom: "Guys, pee on top of pee" (meaning we don't flush until everyone has gone, you know, saving water. Unless someone poops. "After poops you have to flush" "_____, that's much too much toilet paper."
11. "Criss, cross applesauce" They don't say indian style anymore...
12. During nap: "______, lay down" "Arms down" "No legs or arms or feet or hands on the wall." "It's time for nap" "No humming" "No clapping, it's nap time"
13. "Is that how we treat our friends?" "There is no pushing or hitting in this class." (Which is totally false...at least lately) "We are all friends. You need to be nice to everyone in this class. Would you like it if someone said that to you?"
14. "You get what you get, and you don't get upset." and "You sit where you sit and you don't throw a fit"
15. "Snackerooski"
16.When asked, "Joan, wanna come to my house?" "Yes, I would love to come to your house."
17. After nap: "Who needs a wake-up hug?"
18. "_____, did you hit him/her?" "Is that how we treat our friends?" "What do you say?"
19. "Boys and girls, it's time to put the books away, neatly and nicely. Please don't step on books." "If we play rough with our books, we will ruin them, and we will have to throw them out, and we won't have any books to read and enjoy." "Share the book with your friend"
20. "1-2-3, Eyes on me"

There are others, but...you get the idea. Oh, the joys of being a preschool teacher. Really, there are a lot of joys.